You Just Cant Win
by Amy-Quartz-Rose
Summary: EdXEnvy, Angst, Edward hates himself because he has the power to make it stop, he just... wont. And envy Just loves to lay mind games... yaoi


It really doesn't hurt that much.

That's what you're telling yourself, isn't it? Over and over and over you repeat it until it doesn't have any meaning for you any more… because dear god it hurts.

(he broke it, of course it hurts, idiot)

You let out a shuddering sigh as sparks craw up your flesh from your metal leg, and fall to the dusty, dry ground. The smell of grass and night press into your head and you cough in the dust you kicked up by falling. Your leg gives a twitch, a mechanical hiss and it spits more sparks at you.

You cant walk anymore… he did a good job, didn't he?

"Ed? Ed!" A feminine voice calls through the silver darkness… you barely look up. You see smooth sunny-blond hair spilling over pale bare shoulders, and bright wide eyes.

"Winry…" The name floats about the throbbing pain filling your brain. Sparks lick up your leg and you cant bite back the scream.

"Oh Ed!" She's at your side, hands poised gently on your shoulders, eyes seeking to meet yours. "Oh my god Ed, what happened to you!" Some how you see them, the tears welling in her eyes like melted stars, and you want to die because your hurting her.

"D-don't cry…" you choke out, coughing your mouth as you begin to cough (taste blood, hm? How, he really did do a good job on you…). "I'm okay…" but that's a blatant lie, "Its my fault…"

"W-what?" her eyes fill with confusion, they look like amethysts in the silver streaked darkness. The wind blows her hair softly about her head and you reach with your good warm hand, brush it back before collapsing back into the dust.

"I-I…" You hate him so fucking much you want to die ( You hate yourself so much you let him do this to you…) "Don't cry Winry, please… I-I let it happen, its all my fault! Don't feel bad because of a choice I mad myself! I let this happen!" And now you want to stop yourself but it slips out anyway, "I let him do this to me…"

Her eyes seem to cool, like water to ice… Her elegant fingers graze your leg (although its not really all yours is it? Its hers to, she made it). She flinches at the sparks.

And suddenly she's on top of you, straddling you and grinning down like a Cheshire cat with a mouse under it's paw.

"You know I love to hear it…" his breath sweeps your ear and you shudder, unable to hold it back (unable to hold the tears back).

"No…" Close your eyes before you see the eyes change, although you know they did. They're not Winry's eyes anymore.

(You cant pretend anymore)

"Are you broken Edward? Should I fix you…"

'Shut up,' your mind screams. 'Stop fucking using her voice!'

"Well?" a gasp stabs your chest as her hands (his hands) fallow the curve of your hips up your sides. You don't even flinch as he grabs your wrists and pins you down. You're used to this by now (although this is the only time you'll admit it…)

"Well…" You don't know what you're supposed to say.

"Are you broken Ed…?" You hate the way he's grinning, dark an malicious and you cant get away. You cant win.

"Yes..."

"Say it..."

"No..."

"Edward..."

"...no."

"Dont make me..."

"Please dont..."

"If you didnt want it you would do what I say..."

And you dont get a chance to argue because its to late. He's pressed his lips to yours and you cant get away. You never got to defend yourself against his acusaion and it kills you because maybe... just maybe he's right. You'd tell him your broken, play his game if you wanted him to stop. But even as he flips you face down in the dirt, even as he leaves those long red claw marks down your back and presses inside so deep you want to die, you still dont say a word.

(And your doing it to yourself because you could stop it with just two simple words)

So maybe, just maybe... he's right. As you sit in the road waiting for Al to find you, half your mind working on what you'll make up to tell him this time you wonder... if maybe you do like it, just a little.

And you hate yourself all over again because you know he's getting to you, warping your mind, and theres nothing you can do to stop him. You're finally learning...

You just can't win.


End file.
